Automatic Brush-off
Me: Car!
Inconspicuous Grey Car: WAT
Me: I finally did it! YAY
Inconspicuous Grey Car: I don't think I want know what "it" is.
Me: Be nice. I finally bought a new coffee machine.
Inconspicuous Grey Car: Congratulations. It only took you two and a half weeks to get rid of the old one. That's like a record for you.
Me: I had to mourn it properly, car. And I was kind of anxious about getting a new one.
Inconspicuous Grey Car: ...
Me: A new coffee maker isn't something to be decided upon lightly.
Inconspicuous Grey Car: Oh sure, I can totally see how a $20 coffee maker needs all of your attention. At least this one shuts off so you won't burn the house down.
Me: Shut UP, car.
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